What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
15.06.2025 02:42
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I will be 64.
How can parents identify and address early signs of racial bias in young children?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He resisted the act ,that day.
All the time i was locked up.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Did sharing a wife turn out okay?
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Even Captain James T. Kirk was trapped in a woman's body. Don't you think he'd support trans people?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
(And it was in our own minds.)
She found it foreign!.
How the Brain’s RNA Rings Are Formed - Neuroscience News
Ive learnt so much.
But, we were locked up after school.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?
She married twice! .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I waited trembling.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But it wasn’t much.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Can shaving hair by Veet in our vagina cause diseases?
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
When does a man tell a woman he has feelings for her?
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
What is the Abu Shusha massacre in Palestine?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I think the readers, may guess!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
What is after school detention like in your school?
This is soul school!.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But ive been too sick for many years..
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why do some people have sex with dogs?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I couldn’t, believe it.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
We were not on the streets..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I was 9 years of age.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Especially a lifetime of it.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I never cut or harmed myself..
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
As i do to all so called friends.?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I write beautiful poetry .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
She was in good health!
Why did i forgive my father ?
She loved him until the end.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Comes on , in middle age.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I said to her
My family never makes their pension either.
My life is so biszare .
I was scared of men, in general
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So whats the point in blame.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Put me off passion for life!!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Who then, do I blame.?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im still living with it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I was seconnd youngest,
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He knew the spot.
And i lived it daily.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Would this be the day?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I could never make a relationship work though!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
One cannot live in the past .
What did i know ?
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I have no regrets .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I don,t even have a pension.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
So, i spoilt her more .
She wouldn,t have been !
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Was to survive, this bastard.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
When she asked me how she looked .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
We all went to grammer schools
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
It was going to be , some day.
I was very sick at this time too.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.